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Question 15: My cancer treatment has been really tough on my husband and kids... Am I selfish jerk to take a break from them when they've already been through so much?

"My cancer treatment has been really tough on my husband and kids. I'm trying as hard as I can to keep our home running as normally as possible, but I feel so overwhelmed. I just want to go somewhere and be alone for a few days. Am I selfish jerk to take a break from them when they've already been through so much?"

 




Wanting to take a break is not selfish at all. In fact, it might be just the thing you need in order to better support your family. You are just as important as they are and you need to feel calm and balanced, too. In order for you to be able to keep giving of yourself, you need to make sure your giving tank is full. You do that by taking time for yourself.


Self-care is important to maintain good physical and mental health, regardless of whether or not cancer is in the picture. You should not feel guilty taking the time to relax, reflect and recharge.


Here are some ways to incorporate a little self-care into your life:


·      Exercise. Take up jogging or running. Stroll through the park or take one of your local trails. Go for a swim in the pool or at the beach. Do whatever gets your body moving and grooving!

·      Eat Your Veggies. When you put good food in, good energy and healthier feelings come out. Your body wants to be healthy, so load up on your greens and fruits, get your Vitamin C and you are ready for the day.

·      Forgiveness. Don’t hold grudges against yourself or anyone else. Forgiveness is a gift to you. It doesn’t excuse whatever upset you but it lets the negative feelings your harboring, go. Be kind to yourself.

·      Deep Breathing. Pay attention to the state of your body. Are you feeling tense? What is your breathing like? Do you notice that you are breathing quickly or holding your breath? Take time to slow down your breathing. Close your eyes and take a few deep, calming breaths. This will release some of the tension you are feeling.

·      Unplug. Take a little vacation from technology. Turn off those phones, computers, TVs, gaming systems, etc. Instead, pick up a book, go outside, or paint a picture. A break from the constant incoming of information will help calm the mind.

·      Slow Down. Are you trying to be Wonder Woman by saving the world, running the house, work and school all at once? Slow it down, prioritize and delegate some of the responsibility. You don’t have to be the one-woman show. Your loved ones can step in and help, too.

·      Laugh. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh out loud, joke and play. Enjoy the little things in life.


GoodTherapy.org has a great article on self-care and managing stress:

 

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